Opportunities to celebrate are all around us; birthdays, baby showers, Mother’s Day, and, of course, the holidays. We are encouraged to join in. But for those of us who are struggling to grow our families, it can be especially challenging.
One of the most important things I’ve learned through this journey is to adjust my expectations. This includes what the holidays look like in the midst of our struggle. I choose to modify what I expect to experience, what I can offer freely, and what I will receive.
I encourage you to do likewise and prepare for this season and make your peace a priority. I’ve highlighted a few of my favorites that RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association suggests. I invite you read the entire article here; Tips for Handling Holidays:
DON’T: Be caught off guard by unexpected or embarrassing questions about your plans for having a family. Plan you responses, but don’t feel that you have to disclose all the details of your situation either!
DO: Decide in advance how you will handle difficult and insensitive questions. You may even want to rehearse your answers. You can decide to be honest with friends and relatives as to why you can’t join certain celebrations and traditions which are just too painful right now. Express your appreciation to friends and relatives who have given you their love and support.
DON’T: Feel guilty about not participating in all the traditional family events. You’re going through a difficult time, and you need to concentrate on helping yourself and your partner get through the holidays.
DO: Be selective about accepting invitations to parties and holiday celebrations, especially the ones at which you will know there will be a lot of children or pregnant women. Remember: you do not have to say yes.
DON’T: Pretend that there’s nothing wrong and carry on with “business as usual”.
DO: Spend time doing things you like best. Prepare a spectacular meal, take long walks, go jogging, or curl up by a fire with a good novel. Begin your own family traditions: a special ceremony, or ritual that says that you and your partner are already a family, and that you can rejoice in your love for each other, with or without children.
If this feels like more than you can imagine, take heart and know that God desires peace for His children during the holidays and beyond. John 14:27 NLT says I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid. Embrace the true gift of the season even while you seek to grow your family or as your heart aches and heals; the peace of God.
HOPE-Filled Thought: Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you. 1 Peter 5:7 NLT
Prayer: Thank you Lord for the gift of your Son, Jesus Christ and the for the joy and peace He came to give. We ask that you lead us to the place where we can maintain that peace even in the midst of our infertility struggles. Walk beside us and lift our hearts. We receive your love with joy and it is so. Amen.
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