Uncategorized – Hope In Fertility https://hopeinfertility.org help for the hurting and healing for the broken Fri, 22 Apr 2022 18:53:17 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.5.3 https://hopeinfertility.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/cropped-Untitled-32x32.jpg Uncategorized – Hope In Fertility https://hopeinfertility.org 32 32 Life Goes On… https://hopeinfertility.org/life-goes-on/ https://hopeinfertility.org/life-goes-on/#comments Sat, 23 Apr 2022 15:00:00 +0000 https://hopeinfertility.org/?p=459 Hello there! Where have you been, friends? Okay, okay. The better question is where have I been?

I’ve been doing the best I can.

The pandemic has been rough on all of us and I am no exception. Just as we were being introduced to Covid-19, my mother’s health challenges intensified. I wasn’t even confident that visiting her in Saginaw was safe until the diagnosis came; Multiple Myeloma. She needed my help to navigate cancer treatments on top of her volatile Type 1 Diabetes.

I was subject to ever changing hospital protocols, doctor appointments, and navigating the medical system. Again. I put on my take-charge, caretaker hat with the insight of a seasoned infertility warrior. Many of you know exactly what I mean. We ask questions that offer insight, follow up with more questions exploring alternatives to proposed action plans, and evaluate the likelihood of success.

My Mom was a trooper through it all; a quiet storm giving Multiple Myeloma a run for its money. She attended my brother’s wedding, which I officiated, June 2020. I relish the photos of us from the beautiful backyard event; each of the ten of us masked and seated at sweetheart tables for two.

By the holidays, my mother’s strength was waning. Her second series of treatments had to be delayed because she just wasn’t strong enough to endure it. We quietly celebrated the arrival of 2021 while her hospital stays became more frequent. My mother ended January in the hospital and met her end before February did.

February 22, 2021 my mother took her place among the ancestors. What has followed has been an unwelcomed invitation to do the things I never wanted to do, telling my mom goodbye and grieving having said it. I’ve learned that grief and all its stages can be an undesirable gift.

Denial protected me from being overwhelmed while taking the lead on funeral planning, anger makes it hard to drive past the nursing home where she caught Covid-19, bargaining made it hard to forgive myself for supporting to decision to go this same nursing home, depression pressured me to seek a place for my pain, and acceptance is still calling me forward through all of this. Infertility taught me the value of support groups. So, it was an easy choice to find an outlet for my grief and the 13-week grief class offered by GriefShare was just what I needed.

Grief does not progress through it’s five stages in a linear pattern; it’s more like waves retreating back and crashing forth. Sharing in that safe circle provided the place to release the feelings I needed to mask in my day to day life. For those few hours each week, I was only a daughter grieving the loss of her mother. Not a wife, sister, friend, teacher, of a wife substitute for my Dad.

I’ve been comforted by knowing that the end of life is not the end of love. I love my mother and she loves me. Still.

I’ve also found comfort in accepting that I will never be the same and the world will have to adjust. I will only give what is available yet I’m so much more compassionate. I recognize that some view grief as something we process with the final arrangements for our loved ones or complete with the realization that we’ve suffered loss. This could not be further from the truth.

We are all grieving. Constantly. We need to normalize grief and its lasting effects. I hope to be a safe place where it’s acceptable to be honest about the task that is too great and emotions that simply don’t have the capacity to weather the storm of conflict and incessant demands. I can hold space for the truth that needs to be told, demands to be told. I will listen to your heart break. I am available for hurt until the healing comes. I’ve been called to grieving hearts.

Tending to grieving hearts is what inspired the Detroit, MI Walk of Hope. I knew there was a purpose in my infertility pain and partnering with RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association has been one the highlights of my life. My Co-Chair, Sue Johnston, and I are hosting the 4th annual event and finally returning to Tolan Playfield as the pandemic is finally allowing us to. My mother opened the event with a welcome greeting in 2019 and going back is bittersweet. It was important that she was a part of it then as I knew that now was coming. There would be a time when we she would not be able to participate; a time when the walk would outlive her. That time has come.

I’ll be there next week to welcome you with a smiling face and open arms. And if you see me shed a few tears, offer me tissue. Being in the presence of infertility warriors is a safe space where we feel all the feelings and normalize grief.

Where have I been? Walking a new path on this journey to wholeness and healing. Thanks Mom!

HOPE-filled thought: My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart; he is mine forever. Psalm 73:26 NLT

Prayer: Thank you Lord, for mothers everywhere. I honor them and pray that my life glorifies Your Name. Continue to lead me to grieve in a healthy way that inspires acceptance and peace and help me to help others find this gift for themselves. I receive it all with the joy that only comes from You. And it so. Amen.

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It’s Not Either Or, It’s Yes And… https://hopeinfertility.org/its-not-either-or-its-yes-and/ Wed, 01 Jul 2020 14:05:30 +0000 http://hopeinfertility.org/?p=442 Most of us don’t have to look to hard to find a challenge within our world. We are still facing hard days, loss, and struggle. Some of these challenges have become a crisis as their effects are magnified or more severe.

As I looked to define a crisis, I discovered an article by marketing communications agency, Jackson Spaulding. Checklist: How to Know If You Have a Challenge or a Crisis? (2017, August 28) Retrieved from https://www.jacksonspalding.com/blog/checklist-know-challenge-crisis/. Read the entire article here.

The article invites businesses to assess the level to which they are being affected. I think this a powerful strategy that can help us as well. It offers the following questions: Is the challenge we are currently facing causing an effect in our circle of influence? Have multiple people been affected with our response to the challenge we are facing? What has the impact been in our world? Have their been emotional repercussions for us as well as others? Has the challenge caused repetitive failure or the perception of such?

It is empowering to take a look at our own situation and review the depth of its effects. Difficult questions like these allow us to assess the situation beyond our emotional responses. Using this as a self assessment also empowers us to define it for ourselves. We do not have to be influenced by the thoughts and feelings of others who often run out of patience as they try to support us in the crisis. The loving decision to take this action can be the first step in moving toward relief from the crisis we are facing.

A crisis demands our attention and we must apply the information it provides. It is useful as it gives the state of affairs for the crisis. Perhaps it is reflected in the diagnosis you been given or the amount of money in your savings account. This is the reality you are facing at the moment and it is not a lack of faith to acknowledge it. I offer that it is the equivalent of the indicator on your vehicle’s dashboard for your gas tank. If the indicator shows that your gas tank is empty, then it is providing some pertinent information that lets you know that your vehicle needs gas sooner than later.

Similarly, the information we receive in our crisis can provide pertinent information, as well. Others may reflect to us the change in our temperament. We may start to withdraw from the things that once brought us joy. We may struggle to show up for our day with a positive attitude; we may struggle to show up at all. Use this information to assess your state of crisis, what and who is being affected, and explore what steps may address these needs.

For some this seems simple, too simple in fact. Some can attest that reviewing the crisis only led to limited options and increased distress. It led to more days where it was difficult to show up and everybody around is being affected by the windstorm of emotions. It would appear that the crisis is on top and we can only hope to hold on until it’s over.

This ‘either or’ mentality says that while the crisis is wreaking havoc on my life, it is winning and therefore, I lose. I get that. It even seems pretty reasonable. It feels pretty normal to categorize things and our minds can’t help it. We have to identify which side of the issue you are on when we discuss hot button issues. We have to know if you are in or out, a supporter or a neigh sayer, a winner or a loser. When we look at the crisis, all we see is how we are failing and how we lose.

The only response to a crisis is to clearly state that this tragedy is the absolute worst thing we have ever faced. There is no hope in it and it was meant to destroy us. We can only hope to keep our head above water until the end comes.  I want to lift up another option. It’s not either or; its yes and… Yes, we can accept the information that the crisis presents and choose to put it in it’s proper perspective and our faith can help.

As believers, we have the Word of God to apply to our crisis. It contains the guidance that offers a holy perspective that speaks revelation to our hearts and our circumstance. How do I know this? The answer is found in Romans 10:17  So faith comes from hearing, that is, hearing the Good News about Christ. NLT This confirms that the Word of God is the Good News we can apply liberally to our weary hearts and impossible circumstances.

Find a passage of scripture that shares the account of a victory that mirrors your challenge or speaks to your heart. Get familiar with it and stand on its promises. Let it remind you that God has never been caught by surprise by any crisis and that He still has a plan for your life. Replace your name within the story and read it aloud. Counteract the reality of your situation with the revelation of God’s Word.

Embrace the ‘yes and…’; the reality and the revelation. Strengthen your resolve in the crisis. Decide to actively build up your faith and seek God on what to do with the information. Allow the Lord to use the crisis to develop your mindset, to sustain you, and to richly bless you.

HOPE-Filled Thought: I will certainly bless you, and I will multiply your descendants beyond number. Hebrews 6;14 NLT

Prayer: Thank You Lord, that you promised never to leave us or forsake us. Even in the midst of a crisis you are near. Help us to embrace the information that the crisis provides while we seek the revelation of your supernatural power. We receive this promise with joy. And it is so. Amen.

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Lift Your Voice https://hopeinfertility.org/lift-your-voice/ Mon, 01 Jun 2020 12:08:55 +0000 http://hopeinfertility.org/?p=437 The last few months have been challenging to say the least.

We’ve met a pandemic that has forced us to adapt with numerous changes and a whole new normal. March 13th was the last day I taught in my classroom for this academic year. I left my high school with a reasonable expectation to return and instead have been thrown into the deep end of distance learning. My home has morphed into my on-the-clock space, my off-the-clock space, and everything else in between.

We’ve seen violence repeatedly perpetuated on people of color in communities all over the country. My heart aches for the losses and the injuries as the list continues to grow. My mind reels as I wonder when will we as a country be brave enough to do the work that is required to truly deal with the biases and racism that is woven into the fabric of our country.

I can safely say that I am not alone in navigating these unfamiliar waters. All of us are doing our best to maintain our households and our sanity. On top of this, many of us have come to a hard stop on our infertility journeys. Decision makers concluded that fertility treatments were not critical and therefore subject to cancellations and postponements. As a couple who was told medical treatments were our best option to grow our family, my heart goes out to those whose options have been affected by these decisions. We also know that couples looking to adopt may also be affected with a delay in critical preparations if they are not already matched and awaiting delivery of their little miracle. Miscarriage and infant loss are traumatic at any time. However, families are facing these devastating losses with limited support as we observe protective measures in hospitals and social distancing everywhere else.

These changes have been impactful and have threatened our peace. When fear attacks us, we often cower back into a comfort corner and close our mouths. It’s only natural to seek comfort and I have been there more than once. As the number of losses started to accumulate among my family and friends, I began to shutdown and look for comfort. However, infertility reminded me of something it taught me. I can do more than just mourn and hope to be comfortable while the battle rages.

There is power in the words I speak. This is the reason I volunteered for the second year for RESOVLE’s Advocacy Day 2020. Yes, I missed traveling to Washington, D.C. to work the Hill as I did last year. But, I could not miss the chance to lift my voice to the decision makers who vote on legislation that benefits the infertility community. I joined four other delegates from Michigan and I plan on making this an annual event. I’m told that members of Congress hear from lobbyists all the time. It is hearing our personal experiences that is the most touching and persuasive.

This is the reason I volunteered to serve as the Equity Team Lead for my school in Detroit. I elected to participate in the conversation around topics such as the power structure in education and racial and gender inequalities. I have enjoyed working with this team of educators unpacking these heavy topics. Together, we are challenging the thoughts that dictate our behavior in our schools and classrooms everyday.

We must talk to those who need our perspective and hope; including our own hearts. Proverbs 18:21 NLT says, the tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences. This translation bursts into my comfort corner, kneels down to me, and yells loudly in my ear. LIFT YOUR VOICE! I speak up when the benefits are medical coverage for all infertility treatments and refundable adoption tax credits. I speak up when the text book examples don’t reflect the diversity of the students who are reading it. Yet it’s just as important to speak up for my own peace of mind. While I am consumed with the thoughts of what may happen to me, the Word of God is reminding me that I have been empowered to sow seeds of faith that will work for me. 

When I lift my voice in advocacy, I feel strong and empowered. But something different happens when I speak the Word of God; the more I recite it the more I want to recite it. Speaking God’s Word out of my own mouth ignites my weary heart in a unique way. It inspires me to look beyond the comfort corner and begin to rise in hope.

While you face your uncertainties, lift your voice. While you mourn your losses, speak life. While you endure the challenges you face, declare what God said. I encourage you to resist the urge to close your mouth. Grab a hold of one of the promises of the Father, and lift your voice. Recite it to another heart that is hurting and offer its peace. Tell your own heart, that while all of this is hard, there is hope.

HOPE-Filled Thought: And so, Lord, where do I put my hope? My only hope is in you. Psalm 39:7 NLT

Prayer: Thank you, Lord, for your unfailing love and care for me. I trust you beyond what I know or what I see in this season. Increase my faith that I may hold onto your promises. Empower me to speak your Word until what I see reflects what you have said. I receive your strength with joy. And it is so. Amen.

 

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Mark the Moment https://hopeinfertility.org/mark-the-moment/ Sat, 01 Feb 2020 19:06:37 +0000 http://hopeinfertility.org/?p=431 Today is special as my great aunt Christabell Gilcreast is 100 years old today! As I’m writing this, I’ve already called her and greeted her with birthday wishes. My heart is full of joy to see her reach this milestone. It is a true blessing.

Aunt Christabell has witnessed so many remarkable moments. She worked as an elementary teacher and retired in 1982, almost 40 years ago. That is remarkable in and of itself; a retirement that lasts just as long as the career you retired from. She has shared stories about children she’s taught to read or ones who needed special attention. Today, she told me about reconnecting with a former 2nd grade pupil who later on became a friend of my aunt. Aunt Christabell remembered her face and her nickname even thought she hadn’t seen her since teaching her as a 7 year old.

One of her favorite phrases still tickles me. It refers to the changes she noticed through the years in her students as parenting evolved; ‘They just feed them and let them grow.” As you can imagine, she was quite the task master in the classroom. Yet, just as loving and supportive. My Dad just recently shared with me how my aunt and uncle, just a few years apart, were going to be in college at the same time. My grandfather made it perfectly clear that he wasn’t going to be able to pay tuition for the both of them. So one of them would have to sit out. Aunt Christabell stepped in and paid the difference so they both could pursue higher education.

Aunt Christabell and I share more than our love for education and family. We are also both a part of the infertility community as she never had any children of her own. When I asked her about the details of her journey, she only said that she couldn’t have any children. I imagine that the technology of that day didn’t provide all of the insight we have access to today. She never expressed any sadness about it. She would rather focus on the blessing of being the last of her siblings to still be on ‘this side of the ground’.

Today is an opportunity to mark the moment for Aunt Christabell. I honor her for all of the love and care she’s given to all of us. I celebrate the impact she’s made in my life and how she’s persevered while living life child-free. It has been a pleasure to dote on her as I would have my grandmother and I’ve relished the love she’s poured on me like a granddaughter.

These words are a monument to honor all that the Lord has done for her and all that He has done for me. As she has experienced ups and downs and still proclaims the goodness of God and so will I. She is a testament to thriving and living a life of love and I can do that too. I am more than infertility and no matter what God has for my family I can hope, wait, and thrive.

We all have the choice to mark our moments. Whether we have a relative who becomes the newest centenarian or not, we have moments to mark. Mark connection, mark endurance, mark joy! Let’s open our eyes and embrace the gifts we’ve been given. And if we look really hard and don’t find any moments to mark, be the moment and mark your own beauty. It deserves a celebration too.

 

HOPE-Filled Thought: And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. Romans 8:28 NLT

Prayer: Thank you Lord, for Godly examples in our lives. Bless those we love and bind us together that we might encourage each other in ways that help us to grow and to serve each other. We honor you with our lives and ask that you strengthen us in all we do. We receive it with joy and it is so. Amen.

 

 

 

 

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The Holidays? Bah, Humbug! https://hopeinfertility.org/the-holidays-bah-humbug/ Sun, 01 Dec 2019 13:00:13 +0000 http://hopeinfertility.org/?p=423 Opportunities to celebrate are all around us; birthdays, baby showers, Mother’s Day, and, of course, the holidays. We are encouraged to join in. But for those of us who are struggling to grow our families, it can be especially challenging.

One of the most important things I’ve learned through this journey is to adjust my expectations. This includes what the holidays look like in the midst of our struggle. I choose to modify what I expect to experience, what I can offer freely, and what I will receive.

I encourage you to do likewise and prepare for this season and make your peace a priority. I’ve highlighted a few of my favorites that RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association suggests. I invite you read the entire article here;  Tips for Handling Holidays:

DON’T: Be caught off guard by unexpected or embarrassing questions about your plans for having a family. Plan you responses, but don’t feel that you have to disclose all the details of your situation either!

DO: Decide in advance how you will handle difficult and insensitive questions. You may even want to rehearse your answers. You can decide to be honest with friends and relatives as to why you can’t join certain celebrations and traditions which are just too painful right now. Express your appreciation to friends and relatives who have given you their love and support.

DON’T: Feel guilty about not participating in all the traditional family events. You’re going through a difficult time, and you need to concentrate on helping yourself and your partner get through the holidays.

DO: Be selective about accepting invitations to parties and holiday celebrations, especially the ones at which you will know there will be a lot of children or pregnant women. Remember: you do not have to say yes.

DON’T: Pretend that there’s nothing wrong and carry on with “business as usual”.

DO: Spend time doing things you like best. Prepare a spectacular meal, take long walks, go jogging, or curl up by a fire with a good novel. Begin your own family traditions: a special ceremony, or ritual that says that you and your partner are already a family, and that you can rejoice in your love for each other, with or without children.

If this feels like more than you can imagine, take heart and know that God desires peace for His children during the holidays and beyond. John 14:27 NLT says I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid. Embrace the true gift of the season even while you seek to grow your family or as your heart aches and heals; the peace of God.

HOPE-Filled Thought: Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you. 1 Peter 5:7 NLT

Prayer: Thank you Lord for the gift of your Son, Jesus Christ and the for the joy and peace He came to give. We ask that you lead us to the place where we can maintain that peace even in the midst of our infertility struggles. Walk beside us and lift our hearts. We receive your love with joy and it is so. Amen.

 

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50 Days & Counting https://hopeinfertility.org/50-days-counting/ Fri, 01 Nov 2019 12:00:08 +0000 http://hopeinfertility.org/?p=415 It’s been just about 50 days since I’ve been back to work and I can feel it. This week I was greeted by a well-meaning coworker as I entered the building. “How are you, Ms. Fisher?, he said in a cheerful voice. My reply was less than cheerful, “I’m okay, but I’m tired of coming here.” Please don’t hit escape or judge me.

The reality is this is a long stretch on the school calendar. We gather day in and day out from the day after Labor Day to the day before Thanksgiving without so much as an early dismissal. We start when the days are still warm and refreshing and watch from our classroom windows as the days get cooler and shorter. In fact, here in Michigan we will be falling forward out of Daylight Savings Time this weekend.

I enjoying teaching and I enjoying teaching high schoolers. But right now, I’d enjoy a fall break. I need a short respite from the routine that is my normal. I need some time away to hit the reset button. Honestly, I’m not sure that I will find it as continue to show up to work everyday. I believe I’ll have more luck if I look somewhere else.

In God’s presence, I’ll find just what I need. But I get it, it’s hard. Just like everyone else, I am challenged to work smarter, take on less commitments, put down the remote control, and leave space for a connection with my Savior. It’s so easy to get into a routine that makes us efficient and at the same time tires us out. Routines are great. As a matter of fact, the back to school season is all about getting back into a routine. However, we can not get so over-scheduled that we schedule Him out. When we are empty, we have no fuel to meet the days demands; natural or spiritual.

I am so glad that I don’t have to wait until Thanksgiving to find rest for my weary soul. I can refuel right now in the presence of the Lord. When we enjoy a relationship with Him, His peace is at our disposal any time we need. He delights in communing with us and helping us in our time of distress. He offers joy from the well that never runs dry. I can find this joy in a song, in His Word, and in prayer.

A day is like a thousand years to the Lord, and a thousand years is like a day 2 Peter 3:8 NLT I can say with confidence that these 50 days are nothing to Him. In fact, time is of no consequence to Him at all. Therefore, let us try our best to keep each day in perspective of its true potential. Each day is another day to to experience God’s love and to fulfill our purpose.

Now, it time to refuel for another day with those high schoolers.

HOPE-Filled Thought: For I have given rest to the weary and joy to the sorrowing. Jeremiah 31:25 NLT

Prayer: Thank You Lord, that you promise rest to weary. Help us to be faithful as we spend precious time in your presence. Refresh our souls that we may continue to love you and to serve others. We receive it with love and joy and it is so. Amen.

 

 

 

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Let’s Play! https://hopeinfertility.org/lets-play/ Sun, 01 Sep 2019 08:00:42 +0000 http://hopeinfertility.org/?p=410 The summer is coming to an end with the Labor Day Holiday weekend upon us. It’s time to resume our full schedules and obligations once again. For me, it means back to school and back to work. My mindset will go from ‘what day is it’ to planning lessons and units for my classes. That is a complete shift but it least is comes with Fall; it’s my favorite season. Did someone say pumpkin everything?

Adding more to our schedules can increase productivity on our jobs and various projects. But, it can also increase our anxiety and stress. It can pile up quickly and we can find ourselves struggling to keep our heads above water. Allow me to help.

Meet me at Grace Christian Church in Sterling Heights for a Game Night on Sunday, October 6th. There will be snacks, prizes, and games, of course for this free event. There is no need to RSVP or register. Just show up at 4p ready to play. If you’d like to bring your spouse or trusty sidekick, feel free. Everyone is welcome!

It is my heart’s desire to minister to you by facilitating an evening of laughter and fun with others who understand this journey. I am praying that this event would meet a need and help to lift the burden that infertility can bring. Laughter has a way of clearing our minds and relieving stress. I plan on doing a lot of it at Game Night. Please join me.

HOPE -Filled Thought: A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit saps a person’s strength. Proverbs 17:22 NLT

Prayer: Thank you Lord, that you desire that we would be filled with your power and strength. Help us to seek out opportunities to connect with others that would strengthen us when we are weak and allow us to strengthen others when we are strong. We receive this love and direction with joy. And it is so. Amen.

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Take Care https://hopeinfertility.org/take-care/ Thu, 01 Aug 2019 14:28:41 +0000 http://hopeinfertility.org/?p=406 Summer is a perfect time to relax, relate, and release. Many of us have a more relaxed work schedule with Summer Fridays and we fill that time with more enjoyable pursuits. This is a time when we can put our feet up and recharge.

I’ve spent time with family, enjoyed my favorite music festival, and even rode a water slide. I had a great time hosting my grandchildren for a week; courtesy of my stepson. If you guessed that they had something to do with me riding a water slide, you were absolutely right. Cincinnati, Ohio hosts the P&G Music Festival and it’s always a good time. This year the two-night lineup was amazing; Earth Wind & Fire, Frankie Beverly & Maze, Maxwell, and Mary J. Blige. Yes, ma’am!

It helps that I’m on my summer break from teaching. So, I’m all about breaking during the break. But, I must encourage you to take some time for your own personal break, as well. Do something that helps you to relax and decompress from daily demands and your infertility journey.

For some of you that very idea sparks panic as you are counting every dose of medicine, hormone level and cycle day. By all means, follow your plan and physician’s instructions and take care of yourself. I just want you to take care of all of you. We are more than our infertility stories and some of us need this simple reminder.

You are a child, a sibling, a partner, and a friend. Please don’t allow these roles and relationships to fall by the wayside while you work to become a parent. These titles also represent an important part of who you are and the investment in these relationships allow you to support them as they support you. Create new memories this month over a backyard picnic or an ice cream cone.

Also take time for yourself. When was the last time you did something just for you? Take yourself on a date. I love to take myself to the movies. It’s a chance for me to enjoy the cartoon movies that I couldn’t pay Rodney to see. I also like manicures and pedicures and a glass of refreshing iced tea at the local coffee shop.

This kind of self care is also what God desires for us. As our shepherd, He takes the job very seriously. He leads us to places of restoration knowing that we will find just what we need to continue our journey. I encourage you to use this time to press the release valve on the pressure that comes in while we work to grow our families.

L. R. Knost says, “Taking care of yourself doesn’t mean me first, it means me too.” I’ll drink to that.

HOPE-Filled Thought: The Lord is my Shepherd. I will have everything I need. He lets me rest in fields of green grass. He leads me beside the quiet waters. He makes me strong again. He leads me in the way of living right with Himself which brings honor to His name. Psalm 23: 1-3 NLT

Prayer: Thank you Lord for your love. Help me to love myself with everlasting love as you love me. Reveal the ways I overlook myself and show me how to extend grace. I thank you that I can trust you completely and know that you want only the best for me. I receive your love with joy and it is so. Amen.

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Which Way Do I Go? https://hopeinfertility.org/which-way-do-i-go/ Mon, 01 Jul 2019 14:49:25 +0000 http://hopeinfertility.org/?p=398 I can’t tell you how many times I’ve found myself asking this exact question. “God would you just tell me which way to go?”, I’ve cried. It is the most desperate cry of a frustrated heart. One that has found itself at its wits ends and completely struggling for direction in a moment of uncertainty.

Infertility lives in the land of uncertainty and does a great job of presenting a whole host of unknowns. Knowing that you want to grow your family is often the only thing you know for sure; and sometimes that can even be questioned. It is the how that opens the doors to the unknown and sets the the stage for questions galore.

Will we try another medical procedure? Which professional will we trust to provide care? Can we endure another IUI or IVF? What about donor eggs? Should we adopt instead? What is the difference between an adoption agency, facilitator, or consultant? How much does all of this cost? Where do we get the money from?

Even as I celebrate my 46thbirthday, I’m in the midst of these unknowns. Rodney and I are exploring our options and preparing to move forward with one of them. It’s a time of excitement and yet more options which means more questions.

As a Christ follower, I boldly confess over my life that His sheep know His voice and another I will not follow based on John 10:27. I know that I recognize the voice of the Lord. But it would be great if He would take the guesswork out of it and make it clear which path to take. Just tell me which way to go…

The good news is, He does! God’s Word says in Hebrews 11:6 (NLT) that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him. He promises to give us direction and so much more. But, there are also conditions with these rewards. The verse also says, But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is. Simply put, we must have faith in God and who He is and move forward.

We just attended our second Choose Joy event in Atlanta and God met us there. This year’s theme, He Sees You, was such a wonderful reminder for those of us battling infertility. Feeling forgotten by God may the facts of our experience but it is not the truth.

We were reminded that God loves us and He has a plan for us and our families. The sessions were amazing and seeing couples we connected with last year was especially sweet. My heart was lifted as I was reminded that God works outside of my timeline and no time is ever wasted in Him. I even got to meet some wonderful ladies from Detroit during this Atlanta conference. How ironic?

 

The Lord just showed out as He brought us together with a fellow infertility warrior who was attending Choose Joy as a result of listening to our Sarah’s Laughter Infertility Podcast episode; listen here  http://podcast.sarahs-laughter.com/episode-99-as-of-yet-leandrea-rodney-fisher. Here we are pictured together after our great discovery; Rodney and I, our new friend, and Beth Forbus, the founder of Sarah’s Laughter. I was overwhelmed and humbled. This was something only God could do and it was clear that He is telling me which way to go.

Both of us still have to walk out the details of growing our family. We’ve still got to decide what we desire and how to pursue it. But, God was letting me know that I’m moving in the right direction while I move towards the family He has for us.

If you think about it, I bet you’ve had some of those moments where God confirmed His plans for you. Let me help you out. Have you grown on this journey? Have you met other warriors who have become friends that you will still call when you’re done growing your family? Have you been inspired to encourage others along the way? Do you feel peace in your heart as you ponder your next step? That’s His direction.

God has given us the Holy Spirit to lead and guide us and He promised to do just that. Ask Him to give you the direction you seek and to confirm it with peace. Boldly confess that the Lord is leading you as you commit your way to Him. He will tell you which way to go.

 

HOPE-Filled Thought: Trust in the Lord with all your heart, do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take. Proverbs 3:5-6 NLT

Prayer: Thank you Lord for your direction. You knew that we would face challenges like infertility and you have provided help in our time of need. Lead us and guide us through this season into the family you have for us. We desire to bring your glory in all that we do. We receive your love with joy and it is so. Amen.

 

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RESOLVE Advocacy Day 2019 https://hopeinfertility.org/resolve-advocacy-day-2019/ Tue, 18 Jun 2019 15:26:49 +0000 http://hopeinfertility.org/?p=391 I am so happy to share my RESOLVE Advocacy Day 2019 experience. While Rodney and I were in Washington D.C. a few weeks ago, the event resonates in my mind like it was yesterday. I imagine that this was only the first of many Advocacy Days we will attend.

RESOLVE gathers in our nation’s capital once a year for the sole purpose of affecting change with those who represent us in Congress. More than 200 advocates came together from 30 states to share our stories and make our voices heard. We met with our individual representatives to share pertinent information on the upcoming bills and to request them to support the bills with co-sponsorship.

The Michigan delegation, pictured above, was a mighty team and we came ready to take Capitol Hill on with Great Lakes superpower! Our State Captain, Elizabeth Walker, was especially helpful as she has attended many Advocacy Days. The two-day event is packed with opportunities to learn and train with others who battle infertility and meetings with our lawmakers to make clear what that may look like among their constituents.

It was a whirlwind as we went from office to office with pamphlets or leave-behinds as their called on the Hill. We introduced ourselves, gave a snipet of our stories, and presented the bills one by one. We were told not be discouraged if we were meeting with a legislative aide or staffer instead of the representative directly. These staffers are an integral part of the process and are trusted to inform each congressperson of matters of importance.

I was nervous only for a moment. Instead, the excitement swiftly took over and the feeling of empowerment began to grow. This caught me by surprise but I’m so grateful that I did. Infertility comes without permission and wreaks havoc on every part of your life! It challenges us and threatens our peace. Sometimes I feel like a victim of the most personal robbery.

I’ve found peace in accepting the changes infertility has forced my through and I’ve found strength in my faith in God. But, on May 16, 2019 I got some control back. I felt like I gave infertility a black eye for all that it has put me through. Will these bills I spoke up for change things for me directly? Not by much. But, I encouraged those who represent me to make change for those just like me and that felt so good!

Isaiah 58:1 says, Shout with the voice of a trumpet blast. Shout aloud! Don’t be timid. Tell my people Israel of their sins! NLT He was encouraging them tell the truth with a loud voice and to be mindful of the effect of their choices. I kinda feel like I did, too. These laws dictate the care so many receive and while I don’t make the laws I depend on them to serve me.

Thank you of the offices of Senator Gary Peters, Senator Debbie Stabenow, and Representative Rashida Tlaib for taking the time to listen to my heartfelt plea for increased insurance coverage for treatment, an awareness month for PCOS, and increased funding for more research. This message gave my pain a voice and the potential to accomplish a different outcome for others who struggle to grow their families.

I recognize that these changes won’t likely happen immediately. The FMLA (Family Medical Leave Act) benefit so many enjoy took 12 years of advocating to make it a reality. I can handle that. Infertility has challenged me for almost just as long. But know this infertility, you have made me a warrior and I don’t fight fair!

HOPE-Filled Thought: No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us. Romans 8:37 NLT

Prayer: Thank you, Lord, for loving us enough to ensure us the victory in all that we face. We agree with your Word and align ourselves with your heart. Strengthen us in everything we face and encourage us as we defend this victory that is ours. We receive it with joy and it is so. Amen.

 

 

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