Happy Thanksgiving Everyone! I am enjoying a few moments of solitude before the mad dash of food and family begins. Today gives us a chance to gather together with friends and loved ones to make new memories and relish the old ones. We also pause and reflect on all of the things we often take for granted.
I am most thankful for my relationship with my Savior, Jesus Christ. These past two months have been a whirlwind of emotions as we have explored adoption as a way to grow our family. It began as my husband and I attended two adoption orientations sessions. These sessions provided valuable information on Infant Adoption and Foster Care and quickly helped us decide which option was a good fit for our family. I wrote about this in my Let’s Be Honest post.
Realizing that adoption is a better fit for our family, we explored this option with another agency; Lifetime Adoption. Visit lifetimeadoption.com for more information. This was a beautiful whirlwind of information that began with a quick online application. What followed was a pre-approval, phone conference, and an offering to enter their program as a perspective adoptive family. WOW!
It was all so wonderfully frightening! I was seeking to gain information about what adoption would require and look like for our family. What I found was that if the Lord is calling us to adoption, there is indeed a little one for us. It requires money and effort and patience and prayer. But, yes, there is a little one for us.
I was truly overwhelmed at the thought that I could see a light at the end of the tunnel of this infertility tunnel. I imagined that I would get some information to ponder and see where we go from there. And that is what happened…
I had tons of information from the agency but I needed some key information from the Lord. Is this your will for us? Should we proceed? As Rodney and I sought the Lord, He made it clear to me that this is not His will.
Even as we fasted and prayed, all I could think of was this small ministry; Hope In Fertility. I tried to refocus my mind on hearing the Lord’s direction for adoption. Is this the time, Lord? How should we plan to secure the funds for this adoption? Will you lead us to an attorney to look over this agreement?
I failed to hear anything from the Holy Spirit within me other than this is not the time for adoption. Instead I was flooded with ideas of how I could plan to share this work on a greater platform. Everyone in my circle knows about our struggle. But few of them know about this ministry. The ones that do know about it don’t know enough to adequately explain it to someone else. I realized that I am responsible for that and if they can’t share it with others, I am missing an opportunity among my own friends and family to reach those I intend to serve. While I am most thankful for an answer, this revelation felt like a lot like disappointment.
I was so close to my miracle that it was unbelievable! But, the Lord has other plans. What has unfolded since that time is the plans for my very first Hope In Fertility event! I came to realize that the time for this ministry is now and it needs time to grow in order to fulfill its purpose. Pursuing adoption right now would make it challenging to continue something that I’ve only just begun. Not to mention, how difficult it would be to grow this ministry as I become a new mom! I’m tired just thinking about it…
It may seem simple as you read this post about how the Lord redirected my plans. But truthfully it unfolded with questions and uncertainty. I still don’t know all of the details about how our family is going to come together but I know that it will. My confidence in the Lord actually makes Him responsible for the outcome; He only asks me to obey. The questions subside because I know that God honors obedience and He restores all things!
I am holding on to the truth of God’s Word concerning this. John 10:3-5 says, The gatekeeper opens the gate for him, and the sheep recognize his voice and come to him. He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. After he has gathered his own flock, he walks ahead of them, and they follow him because they know his voice. They won’t follow a stranger; they will run from him because they don’t know his voice.” NLT
I use this scripture as the basis of my declaration that I am His sheep, I know His voice, and another I will not follow! I know in my heart that the Lord will direct me and I will know His voice and His will for my life!
HOPE-Filled Thought: Today and always I am thankful that I have a relationship with my Savior, Jesus Christ!
Prayer: Thank you Lord that you lead me and guide in all things. You empower me to follow your leading to fulfill the purpose you have for my life. Even when things don’t go as planned, I can still receive it with joy and it is so. Amen!
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